darkling's goosey ramblings

incoherent ranting. ignore, it will pass.

2008-09-02T09:01:12Z

No, Caitlin. No, it is not OK if Molly comes to the semi formal. Thanks for making me agree to it. "so if you are not okay i say no". I don't have a fucking choice! (She comes from another high school. Why she'd want to come to a lowly public school's dance is beyond me.)

She is not happy unless her bleach-blonde hair and massive boobs are in the limelight all the time.

She is not happy unless she can recount the story of how all her friends laughed at me because a glow stick caught on fire and exploded all over my face and eyes. I could've been blinded, but she doesn't have the decency to not mention that everyone found it hilarious.

And then apologise. "Oh, sorry, my friends hate you because you're weird, that didn't offend you, did it? Oh, me and my big mouth." If she actually cared about offending me, she wouldn't have said it. She just loves to drop insults, and then play the "OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT I AM SOCIALLY AWKWARD SORRRREEEEH" card.

All the rest of my friends like her, even though they're aware of her flaws, and how much she hates me. You know why? She's the only one who'll listen to them, and give them false hope when they tell her about their crushes. This sounds awful and elitist, but my "boy problems" so far have been more real than any of theirs, and I didn't feel the need to tell her about them.

She won't be happy unless she's made out with at least three boys from my school by the time the night's over. She'll be making judgements on my ex, I know it.

I'm actually crying right now. I can actually say that Molly's the one person in the world who's truly hated me. She never thanked me for her fucking birthday present, either.

I've been tentatively, crazily looking forward to the school's semi formal for weeks now. I'll be dressed kind of dark and spooky, as ever. Ten to one, she's going to look at me sideways, call me a crackwhore and then apologise.

Calling me a crackwhore is only OK when my friends say it jokingly. And don't mean it. Deep down, we all know we're not ugly. I can see it in her face. She thinks I'm ugly, or at least thinks that I ruin what little I have with what I wear.

I shouldn't let her get to me so much. I know. But trust me, she's as "in-your-face" as you can get.

I'm setting this as public, too. My RL friends don't read this. But if they're nosy enough to search my youtube username someday, I kinda want them to know that this has affected me so strongly.

I'm your friend too, Mr Todd.

2008-06-04T13:52:33Z

Stolen from many, but most recently, jenfold.

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Bold/Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING.

Most of my shit should be recognisable. (I have a fair bit of musical comedy on here, just so you know.)

1)If you want me to, I could hang around with you, if I only knew that's what you're into.
2) ~~I was working in the lab, late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight, my monster from his slab began to rise.~~ - Monster Mash, Misfits, - ibiu
3) ~~I cannot leave here, I cannot stay~~. - This Time Imperfect, AFI - fainiel_sims
4) ~~You're a little bit racist - well, you're a little bit, too.~~ Everyone's A Little Bit Racist, Avenue Q, - lizzie1326
5)You got the world boy, this all you make it? You had the choice lad, you wouldn't take it.
6) Your love for me is not debatable, your sexual appetite's insatiable.
7) For how much longer can I howl into this wind?
8) ~~Playground schoolbell rings again, rainclouds come to play again.~~ - Hello, Evanescence - fated_oph3lia
9) I know that last year, I asked for way too many things on my Christmas wishlist.
10) ~~Do you remember a guy thats been in such an early song, I've heard a rumour from ground control.~~ - Ashes to Ashes, David Bowie - fated_oph3lia
11)~~Here come old flattop, he come grooving up slowly, He got joo-joo eyeball, he one holy roller.~~ - Come Together, The Beatles - jenfold_sims
12)Distant flickerings, it's greener scenery, this weather's bringing it all back again.
13)There was a love affair in this building, the kinda love affair that every respectable building must keep as a legend.
14)Wait, wait on the corner, I'm coming for ya, you know things will change.
15)~~You can tell from the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips, and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips.~~ - Girl Anachronism, The Dresden Dolls jenfold_sims
16) ~~White on white translucent black capes, back on the rack.~~ Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus liegenschonheit
17) ~~Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel.~~ I Believe
18) Neonecropopulace has no reflection, neocaeczaristic phallic ruins. (Yeah, I might have had to look this one up.)
19) Strange love, strange highs and strange lows, strange love.
20) I slept all day, I awoke with distaste, and I railed, and I raved.
21)You've played this hand, refused to stand, has dignity dissolved?
22) ~~The I.V. and your hospital bed, this was no accident.~~ Panic at the Disco, Camisado - ibiu
23) The flowers you gave me are rotting, but still I refuse to throw them away.
24) Someone told me long ago theres a calm before the storm, I know.
25) I love you like a brother, and I love you like a child, and I love you like a mother...
26) I've just had the craziest week, like a party bag of lies, booze and then deceit.
27) ~~Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with weird and gilly, and the spiders from mars.~~ - Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie fated_oph3lia
28)If anyone can show me in the an example in the history of the world of a single psychic who's been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they are able to read minds...
29) We speak in the store, I'm a sensitive bore, and you're markedly more, and I'm oozing suprise.
30)Now, we've never actually tried to awaken a troll before, from Finnish necronomicon, so please bear with us.
31)Goodnight, goodnight, my love, goodnight, goodnight, my friend.
32)Sewn back together wrong, back together wrong.
33)~~Wait, where's your rush, where's your hurry, you gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost.~~ Worst Pies in London, from Sweeney Todd - rage_rage
34)In the walls of Tokyo, down in London town's a go-go
35)She's a special girl, you know, the kind I'd like to see, hanging on a wall watching me cross the street.
36)Don't go smiling now, you know, I'll be confused, across the table I'm staring into you.
37)I'm bashful, I'm blue, and I really wanna dance with you.
38)~~Colour scientist...colour scientist.~~ - She's A Colour Scientist - Robots In Disguise - jenfold_sims
39)~~As your bony fingers close around me, long and spindly, death becomes me~~ Dream On, Depeche Mode - liegenschonheit
40)~~You and I in a little toy shop...~~ This is that version of 99 Red Balloons that comes up on Limewire as being by AFI but clearly isn't. - ibiu
41)Here's the day you hoped would never come, don’t feed me violins, just run with me through rows of speeding cars.
42)Along the path where the stream is talking, I breathe the mist and continue walking.
43)~~Sucker love is heaven sent, you pucker up, our passions spent.~~ - Every You and Every Me, Placebo - rage_rage
44)~~In a crooked little town, they were lost and never found~~ - rage_rage
45)I cannot distance myself, you were the one who believed that only half of a girl half more than you could deceive
46)Here we go again, we've taken it to the end, with every waking moment, we face this silent torment.
47)~~A friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better.~~ - Pure Morning - Placebo rage_rage
48)Dead is the new alive, despair's the new survival, a pointless point of view.
49)I was having a bad week, I crashed the car and the cat carked it, I weighed myself outside Woolies and I'd put on 4 kilos.
50)~~In the velvet darkness of the blackest night, burning bright, there's a guiding star.~~ Over At the Frankenstein Place, Rocky Horror Picture Show - liegenschonheit

Some of the first lines are a wee bit telltale, now that I think of it.

drowning me sorrows in a Fruche.

2008-04-23T08:13:23Z

Please tell me you've had a Fruche before. They're kind of like a cross between yoghurt and custard and cream cheese. They make the most amazing "schloop" noise when you withdraw a spoon from them. Anyway, they're just great. I am kind of upset now, because I went to the fridge so as to give my title some truth, and it turns out someone has eaten the last one.

But now I am smiling again, as I remember what happened when I was walking home yesterday, past all these people's houses, and managed to hear some guy with a very loud voice singing along to Kylie's "Can't Get You Outta My Head." I stood outside his house and listened until the song finished. I don't know what chain of events would have occured in order for such a wondrous thing to occur, whether he was showering or cleaning or just fucking LOVES Kylie, but I love it when stuff like that happens.

Oh, and I would like to express my sudden ferocious lust for Rik Mayall in Drop Dead Fred. Which is strange, because as I've grown up watching British comedy (THANK YOU AWESOME PARENTS), I've grown up watching him in Bottom and The Young Ones and not found him the slightest bit attractive, but now that I see DDF...I think I'm in love. I think he may have replaced Bob Fossil on the top of Darkling's Fantastic People to Take to The Formal List.

And, in closing, here's something to make you laugh. What's the point of me having a passport photo like this? Doesn't France have a no-crackwhore policy?

The obvious distraction.

2008-03-23T15:07:03Z

You know what? I wish I was a character in a Victoria Frances painting. All I would have to do would be stand around in a corset, occasionally exchanging a blood-spattered kiss with a similarly attired young lass in a forest or a pond. Playing the violin in a graveyard from time to time. Looking all mournful in a wood. That sort of thing. I'd be good at that.

But no, I have to study for Legal and feed my guinea pig. I don't know why. I don't want to be a lawyer, that's for sure. And I'm half-hoping the sweet little thing carks it soon. I've wanted a rat since before my tenth birthday, when I got a guinea pig instead. Oh, why must you defy death, Sparky darling?

Um, this is my first post, by the way. Hope I haven't fucked it up. Am I allowed to say fuck here? It's not like anyone's looking. I don't have any friends yet or anything. I'm still figuring out the do's and don'ts of livejournal. Tell me if I've made a right balls-up of things, won't you?

(and I'm not referring to anyone in particular. um, mainly because i have no friends as of yet. go darkling. oh that's right. you can call me darkling or darklittlegoose or Cecile. Cecile in particular, because it's my name.)